In The World

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long." Psalm 25:5
     Have you ever felt like you just weren't strong enough to go out into the world? Have you felt like you just wanted to hang with your friends from Church because they believe what you believe? Yeah, I admit it. Sometimes I do feel like that... It's safe. It's easy. It's comfortable.
      But if we only hung out with our friends from Church and didn't venture out into the real world, then who would we share God with? Who would really ever get the chance to see how God is working in our lives? How would our churches grow? How would anyone who didn't believe ever get the chance to see how God is molding and changing our lives?
      Yeah, I know... sometimes it doesn't really feel like we have changed.... and sometimes we think that we would be poor examples of someone who is giving their life to God, but yet they see it... sometimes I think they see it more clearly than we do... only they don't always know what it is..... We need to be out in the world. We need to be in the world and yet not of it....  
       What does that really mean? I have a rather vague idea of it... I think it means that we must build relationships outside of church. Relationships with people who don't put God first. Relationships where we can build a trust with the other person that will allow them to get to know us. We don't have to push God on them. But we will need to share that we trust God and count on Him to guide and direct our lives. They should be able to see that God is most important to us by how we live our lives.
       We should not be living in a giant conflict of interest... we should live our lives governed by what God wants. It's not a show. We aren't supposed to be out there acting holy or anything, but if we are doing God's will in our lives, we will make honest, noble decisions in our day to day lives. We will seek to do right and not to take shortcuts. We will be faithful friends who treat others with respect and really care for them. This will be noticed by others.
        They will know that "something" is different about you. They will know that you really do care, and that it is not a fake caring like so many others do... God will guide you in how to care for others if you only let Him.
        Dear Lord, please help me to be a light to someone. Please help me to live my life in such a way that others will see You working in my life. That they will see Your love when they see me. Help me to be a true and faithful friend to someone. To truly care. To truly reach out and share You with them. Help me to not hide in the shadows of my church but to go out into the world and to reach out with Your guidance to share Your love and Your word with others. Help me to be a light that they might see You shining brightly inside me.... and please help my friends to do the same. My faith is in You... My hope is in You... and my trust is in You.

A Very Special Gift

"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel."      Isaiah 7:14

     Thousands of years before the birth of Christ, the prophet Isaiah prophesied about His birth.  How did he know.   That alone should be enough to prove that Jesus was indeed the long awaited Messiah.  

      God prepared the way.  Prepared the way for us to recognize His Son when He arrived on earth.   If only people had listened to God's word and taken heed, they would have known who He was right away.   John the Baptist recognized Him.  Would you recognize Him?   

      I am awed when I think about the birth of Jesus.   Just the fact that God would send His own Son into the world to atone for the bad things that we have done and that we will do.   I know that I have done a lot of bad things.  I know that I will probably continue to do bad things as long as I live.   I will not want to do bad things, but indeed I will still do them.

       I am amazed that God spoke to people even back then and that they listened.  They did what He asked of them.   I know that it must not have been easy for either Mary or Joseph to do as God commanded.   I know that many folks today don't think that having a child before marriage is a bad thing but imagine what it was like back then.... I mean couldn't they like stone you to death for stuff like that?   And then Joseph married her knowing that it was not his son he would be raising.    Imagine the love that they both must have had for that child.   

       I know that I have known what it was to be an unwanted child.  I know the pain that being raised like that could cause.  And I have always believed that those children who find themselves adopted into families are really the most loved children in the world.   Why? Well that is easy... because the parents "chose" to adopt them.  They chose to bring a child into their home and to love that child and raise it as their own.  

       I know that Jesus was not adopted.   But still Mary and Joseph made a conscious decision to bring that child into the world and to raise Him as their own.   Like most adoptive parents they probably wrestled with the decision of when to tell Him the truth about his birthright,  but knowing that God would call Him just as He had called them, they probably told Him quite early.   The love that they must have felt for that child must have been overwhelming.  I wonder if they were aware of the sacrifice that He would one day make for you and me and all of mankind? After all that too was foretold in Isaiah and many other places in the old testament.

       Christmas has always been a very special time for me.   It has never been a "commercial" holiday for me.   It has always been celebrated quietly, behind closed doors.... just reading the story of Jesus' birth and pondering the gift that God gave to all of us on that day that Jesus was born.   I would have to agree that Jesus is indeed the "reason for the season".   

Merry Christmas to everyone  and a very special Birthday to Jesus

God Has Our Back

 "Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."        Joshua 1:9

        In the office where I work we have a Christmas Tradition.  We give gag gifts to our co-workers.   We search all year for just the right gag gift.  Something that embodies the person and yet makes everyone laugh.  Usually it is in reference to the "absolutely worst" part of your job.... and yes... it usually makes you laugh too.... 

        Well, last year our Grants writer got me good.  He gave me a bin pin that said "2010 already sucks".   It was funny because it was pretty much right on as the beginning of the year is always a nightmare for me as that is when I have to close out the grants.  It is usually a mad dash to spend any remaining funds before the drop dead date.   So for the first few days I wore that pin everywhere... even to church... it was a joke..... it was cute... but it became much too true to remain a joke.   Shortly into the new year my dad died and then it just got worse from there.   Needless to say I took the pin off and have not put it back on...

        During much of the year I have isolated myself from everyone around me.... I have not wanted to bring anyone else down.   I think that for the most part I am still doing that but I have let a few folks back in....  not many though....  But yes it has been a long and lonely year.

      It would be so easy to say that God had abandoned me during times when my life just seemed to stink.... but it would be a lie.   Because, you see... I have not been walking through this alone.   God has never left my side..... Oh, there have been many times where I have not seen His touch in my life.  Many times where I felt alone and abandoned.  There were times where I would not hear Him or feel Him in my life.    But yet He was always there.... waiting for me..... Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?  It's easy to  look back now as I do a "Year In Review" kind of thing on my life - and to see how He was there working in my life and I didn't even see Him.   Yep.  That's it exactly.  

       There are so many places in the bible where God tells us that He will not abandon us.... David speaks of that so many times in the Psalms.... and yet in many other places in the Psalms he is unable to see God working in his life, and He asks God "where are You?".   The pure and simple truth is that God IS always with us.  He NEVER leaves us.   We just sometimes take our eyes and our minds off of Him and forget to look to Him.  

      Maybe sometimes we put blinders on (kind of like putting on sunglasses at night).  The same things are out there.... they are already hard to see because it's dark out, but you have even more trouble seeing them because of the sunglasses.   The sunglasses are kind of like when we get all bummed out because of the circumstances of our lives.   The circumstances are there.  They are not going away (at least not by our power)... but if we take our eyes off of God and look to ourselves or others to fix the circumstances it will never happen.  We just can't do it. God is there.   He may or may not fix the circumstances, but if you wait for Him, and follow the lead that He gives you, He can surely navigate your way around or through the circumstances.

       Dear Lord, thanks for always having my back.  Even when I didn't realize I had a back. Thanks for being with my friends when they need you and can't see you working in their lives.   Thanks for forgiving us when we forget that you are always there.  Dude, You just rock!"

Cheers and Tears....

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  1 Corinthians 15:57


        This is the time of year when we reflect upon everything that we are thankful for.   I guess that is a good thing.   This is also, now and forevermore the beginning of a season of missing those that are no longer with us.  But that should not stop us from being thankful.   
         I am writing this blog on the Monday before Thanksgiving.  You will probably be reading this either the day after or a few days after...    The day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) will be the day that my mom, sisters, brothers - in - law, nieces, and nephew go to the cemetery to visit my Dad and have our first ever graveside memorial service.   My mom and sister have picked out a few bible verses for us to read, and then we will share a few memories.   I am thinking this will be a very tearful day...Maybe we ought to invest in kleenex.....    Yet even this event makes me thankful.... sad, but overwhelmingly thankful....   
         Did you catch the part about my mom and sister picking out bible verses to read?   Oh yeah! They did!   Amazing.... I didn't think my mom even knew what the inside of a bible looked like....    
        I just thought that it would be nice if I shared with you some of the things that I am thankful for:
         I am thankful that God loved us enough to give up that which was His so that we may be able to call ourselves His Children...
         I am thankful that God has enough love to go around, and enough patience to put up with us at our worst...
         I am thankful that He has saved my life because surely without His presence in my life I would not be here today...
         I am thankful that He takes care of my needs and that even though I still do worry about them at times, I really don't need to...
         I am thankful that God has led me to a Church that has become like a family to me, and that He has used the people there to interact in my life and be living examples of His love and patience and forgiveness.  And that He has used them to help me to grow in Him...
        I am thankful that out of great sadness and loss, came a family brought together like never before...
        I am thankful for friends who are willing to overlook my human failures to get to know the me that Gods trying to mold me into...
        I am thankful to have found my calling to serve God, and to be able to put to use the talents that He has given me to serve Him and give Him honor...
        I am thankful that He has allowed me to see my dream of getting an education fulfilled.  And that hopefully He will use it for His glory...
        I am thankful that I have been able to see God working in the lives of others at times where I could not see Him working in my own life, and that it kept me aware that He is here and working in our lives...
        I am thankful for Chocolate Pudding....
        I am thankful for so much that I could literally go on and on but it would get redundant... 
        Dear Lord, I am so thankful that I can call you Father, and that You think of me as Yours.  I am thankful for all that You have done in my life and in the lives of those I love. I am thankful that You have brought me people whom I can love and care for... And I am thankful for those whom You have used to show me how to love like that.... I am still learning.   I am a slow learner.... but I am also thankful Your patience with me as I keep messing it up time and time again....  Yes, there are sad times.  Yes I have been crying up a storm lately.... You really did make an unlimited amount of tears didn't You?  But at the same time through my pain, You have brought back some really good memories that I had long forgotten.  Painful to remember, yes... but they bring a smile to my heart.... So as I go out there Friday morning to remember.... I will be thankful for those memories... and for the chance to share them with my family.... thanks....


          

The "Do-Over"

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."    Acts 2:42-47

         I heard a song for the first time on the radio the other day.... I don't mean I never heard a song on the radio before, but I had never heard this song before.   It was a new song by J. J. Heller called "Love Me".  You may have heard it.  Anyway I was just dumbfounded because the song said (almost word for word) something that I had said in this very blog only a few weeks ago...."Who will love me for me? Not for what I have done or what I will become. Who will love me for me?"  Wow that song really struck a chord with me... because I have been just having those very same thoughts so much lately. 
         I grew up thinking that love was a conditional thing... if you do what your parents want you to do they might love you.  If you screw up, they stop loving you.... but that is not really love.   God loves us totally unconditionally.  He loves us so much that he gave up His own son, to save our lives.   He loves us so much that He gives us a "do-over" every single day....  How many people do you know who would be willing to give you a "do-over" every day?  Yeah, there is a beer commercial on television that jokes about that.... but it's true.  Only God is willing to be that patient with our mistakes... people aren't. 
         I have been pretty much of a hermit this year.  I haven't gone out with friends much... I have a few good friends.  Really good friends.  Friends who do love me for me... and not for what I've done, or what I will be.... and I have been blessed to have been able to just hang with them.... even sometimes to just sit and watch tv with them.   We sometimes have deep discussions but we don't have to.... It is just awesomely refreshing to just be with them.  And I think that they know how special they are to me, and not because of what they do or will be.  They have become like family for me and I am so very very blessed by them.
         I have other friends whom I care about very very much.  I don't know what it is, but I just really like them.  Not for who they are, or what they have done, or what they will do, but just because I do... I can't explain it...  They know who they are....  These are the folks whom I may have reached out to and called... maybe invited them to have a cup of coffee or a meal or a movie or shop or whatever... just reached out to to try to spend a little time just hanging with them.... I don't ask often, and mostly because it's hard to have people say "not today" or "maybe next week" but next week never comes.... and then you wonder.... do they love you for you or for what you do... or for who you've been.... or for what you will do...
     Anyway enough about that.... the thing is.... God made us for fellowship.   He made us part of communities of people who live for Him.   The book of Acts tells about how God blessed the followers who joined together to praise Him.  To worship Him.  They broke bread together.  They prayed and praised God.   They were like a family.   It really seemed like they saw each other more than just Sundays and Wednesday nights.   And God blessed them greatly.   It's got to make you wonder....
       Dear Lord, thanks for the "Do-Overs".   I really need them.   Realizing that You do that for me has really made a difference for me.   I am very thankful for that.  I am also thankful for Your totally unconditional love.   I am still learning what that means.   It is still so very hard to comprehend... but thanks... and thanks for putting people in my life that love me and that I can love... and please help me to love unconditionally too..... Thanks.....

My Help Comes From The Lord

 " My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."  Psalm 121:2


        As you probably already know, this has been a pretty rough year for me personally.   It started out about a year ago with the deaths of some people who were a very important part of my life.   It continued to get tougher as my dad battled a terminal lung disease and died in January.   Within a week of his dying two more people whom had played an important part in my life also died.   And then my friends parents started to die....  and then a reprieve for a few months and suddenly this fall it started to repeat.... people who were an important part of my life began to suddenly die.... it seems like between relatives and friends I was losing someone about every two weeks.   You might think you get used to it.... but you never really do.... each time that it happens again I feel like someone has yanked my heart right out of my chest.  It's kind of like a primal reaction.  Because in my head I know that God has the big plan and I really do believe that He takes us to be with Him once we have done whatever He had planned for us to do on earth, but yet even though I know that it is still hard.   The initial hours after I first learn of the death of someone I care about are the hardest.  In those first few hours I feel like I revert to the old me.... looking for something to make it better..... like that's really gonna happen.....   and I kind of reach out for help... but it's never really there.....   "our help comes from the Lord".... literally.    He is the only one who can help us in those times even if we (in our humanness) reach out elsewhere....  
       I think that maybe the reason for the hard year might be to teach me to turn to Him first, and not as an afterthought.   During much of my day to day dealings I do indeed turn to Him first.  And yet, in those very troubling times I have realized that I have not always done the same.    I was driving to work today and I realized that I missed my Dad.  Missed him.  Really missed him.   If you had asked me just a few years ago if I even thought that would be possible; I would have laughed.   We did not have a great relationship.  In fact I was much closer to his little brother than I was to him.   But this morning I realized that we really did have some good times.   Not many, but there were some....  and I had hidden them away but now God has brought them out and put them front and center.... and tears were falling... from everywhere ( well not really, but there were a lot of them...). 
      I was thinking back to everyone whom I have lost this year.... I'm going to miss them all... I was thinking about that.... and then I wondered if I were to die, would anyone miss me?  And how would they remember me?  What would they remember about me?  Would it be the "old" me?  or the "newer" me?  Would they even know that I am living for Christ?  Would they think of me as someone who depended on God or on everyone else? but then again, do I really even care what they think?  Have you ever wondered those very same thoughts?
        So I guess that today is all about putting God first.   Turning to Him first.   Letting Him do His stuff...  and waiting for Him to do the healing.....   and not worrying about tomorrow....  cause He's gonna have that too.... It's hard to talk about these failings of mine, but I'm figuring some of you have them too..... (at least I hope I'm not the only one....) but if you also have those failings, you don't need to share em with me.... share them with Him.... and then let Him do His stuff....
          Dear Lord,  I have opened my heart.  I have poured out my pains, and my failures..... please forgive me for not coming to You first..... for sometimes treating You like sloppy seconds.....   please help me to go to You first.   To put my faith in You and You alone...   and to help me to patiently wait for You in Your time.   Please help me to remember that You've got the plan...and You know how to use it.... Thanks for being there with me through all of this, even when I didn't turn to You.   And thanks for loving me enough not to leave me now.... I don't deserve you, but I am glad I have You.

Letter to a friend...

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."  John 13:34


My Dear Friend,
       I am writing to let you know that you have been on my heart and in my mind as of late.   I watch you struggling to deal with some problems and my heart breaks for you.  It is actually painful to see you hurting and not be able to fix things for you, to help to make it better.  You have many issues going on right now, some physical, some spiritual and some just, well just some other stuff.... and you are dealing with them.   I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you.   A lot.  Regularly, as I go through my day.   
     The guy upstairs and I, well we talk a lot about how you're doing...  He's got it covered.  He keeps trying to assure me of that.  He keeps trying to assure you of it too....  Funny how it sounds so safe when He says it, and then a few minutes later, there we go trying to step in and fix things ourself anyway... like we could do it any better..... yeah right....   
         Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone as you deal with what you have to deal with....  I would like to be there with you... but that wouldn't be the right thing... after all, I've kind of got a lotta "stuff" of my own going on right now too...   and I don't want you to have  to try to bring me up....   We need to look to God.  And not just to look to Him.  We need to let Him do His "stuff".... after all His "stuff" is much better than any of the "stuff" that you and I can do....  
          Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see.... but I have to remind myself that I am only seeing the outer shell... it's what's inside that counts....   sometimes I am not so sure that I like the inside either.... it's easy to feel that way.... it's our human nature.... we listen to the wrong voices....  It's kind of like that Casting Crowns song "The Voice of Truth"... it says that we need to listen to the "voice of truth"....  I think that there is much truth in that....   God made us.  He likes us, inside and out.... are we perfect like He is? No, we're not.   But...  He likes us anyway!  In spite of our imperfections.... God is the "Truth".   We need to really listen for His voice, the voice of truth.... If He sees the good in us, then we need to see it too.... after all, it's there, even if we have a hard time seeing it.... 
It's much easier for us to see the good in others than it is to see it in  ourselves...   Yeah I know that some folks are really critical of others, but forget them.... most folks aren't like that...   they see the good in others much easier than one would imagine.   
       I see the good in you.  I believe that you are full of goodness and  beauty and that you shine God's light....   I see Him working in your life, even when you don't see Him.   He is there with you and I just wanted to point that out to you, so that in case you missed it....well.... you know.... it's got to make you wonder....
           Dear Lord,  This letter could have been written to any one of my friends.  It was not directly written to one, but to several...  many of my friends are struggling with trials large and small, physical, mental, spiritual, or just life stuff.....  I pray for all of them daily, but then You know that already.... We speak of them often.... You brought them into my life.  You taught me how to love them.... You know that I am not so good at giving love.... but you know that I care so very much.... So if you could just keep being with them like you always are....  and maybe if you could ease up on em a bit and bring them some joy... that would be a really cool thing.... and could you give em a hug from me.... thanks....

Beauty in God's Eyes...

     "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."           Is 61:4

        What is beauty?  That is a question that has been discussed at a women's retreat that I have been attending this weekend.  It is also a subject to which I have given very little thought over the years...
         They gave us each a rose.  They asked us to take some quiet time and study the rose.  To really look at it and to see what makes it beautiful.  They asked us to ponder that.  This is a little tough for a girl who never really found much joy in flowers.  But I tried.  I looked at that rose and I didn't immediately see anything.   So I prayed.  I asked God to show me the beauty in the rose and to make it "knock me on my behind" sure of why it is beautiful.  So then God did open up my eyes.  I saw that the rose was kind of like us.  Beautiful because God made it.  All roses look alike, but if you look closely you will see that each rose is just a tiny bit different from the next.  Not really obvious changes but small subtle ones.  They are also very fragile.  Easy to bruise, much like we are.... and the stems on the roses have thorns that protect them. 
       We are all made in God's eyes.  We are all beautiful to him.   I know that often I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror.   But yet God likes me just the way I am...  So then I have to look deeper, beyond the flesh and into my soul, my very being... and I realize that I must try to see myself as God sees me... it's very difficult to do...  and I can't do it on my own... can you?  
       It is easier to see the beauty in other people.  They may be too fat, too thin, too old, too young, it doesn't really matter does it?  We know that they are flawed and we can overlook those flaws because we can see God in them.... wouldn't it be cool it we could see God in us too?   He is.... I just know He is....
         I have had a really stinky year.  I see no signs that it will improve anytime soon.... and yet... I have seen God's hand at work in my life this year.   I know that I could not have handled everything that has happened even just a few years ago.   Back then I would have tried to "handle" everything myself....  but this year was different.   I knew that it was too much for me... I just gave it all to God and said "I can't" but You can....  and He was there.... the bad stuff was the ashes, and out of the ashes God worked.... that was the beauty rising out of the ashes.... 
         Yet just because I gave the problems and bad stuff up to God, doesn't mean it didn't hurt... I still find myself balling my eyes out cause I miss my dad, as I drive down the road; and I didn't even have a good relationship with him while he was alive... I spent most of my life afraid OF him, and then towards the end God changed all that and I became afraid FOR him.   
          We have all heard the saying "no pain; no gain."   Well it looks like there is some truth to that old saying....    it's got to make you wonder...
          Dear Lord, only you can really define what is beautiful and what is not.  Please help us to not be so critical of ourselves.   Please help us to see how You work in our lives and how You love us in spite of ourselves.  And maybe just maybe we could see a bit of that beauty without all the pain?  Please?  

Miracles Happen Every Day

"God is my Strength. "I love you, Lord, You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior. My God is my rock in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies."   Psalm 18:1-3

       Did you watch the rescue of the 33 miners from the mine collapse in Chile.  Wow.  What a miracle to be able to get them out alive.   And not just that, they were looking pretty healthy for having been stuck underground for such a long time.  How could anyone not see God's hand in that? 
       I am not sure if everyone realized that God was watching over those guys and protecting them from what would have been certain death in a lot of cases.   I watched that rescue knowing that I knew that I knew...  
       Miracles happen every day... God is with us all the time, there protecting us from the things that we don't even realize we need protection from...  Guiding us, nudging us... just being with us...
      Let me tell you a story of how God guides and directs us in ways that aren't always so obvious.   I am at a women's retreat this weekend.   I wasn't planning to go... I had been in a not so good place... I was really missing my Dad and was just not feeling too much like being with people...  I had even take a week off from Church and headed to Ohio to visit with a cousin whom I just love to hang out with... and don't see often enough...   But anyway we were at Home Depot buying some paint when I got an E-mail on my blackberry asking if I would work the video for the retreat.  I wasn't planning on going.   In fact I wasn't even planning on answering the e-mail.  But then a friend who was cc'ed on the email sent back a response and kind of volunteered me to be going...  I still wasn't planning on being there... and I still didn't answer for a few weeks.  I really had to pray about it.  Eventually God convicted me to go.   So I sent the response.  At the time no one else from my Church was planning to go that I knew of...  A few weeks later a friend from church said that she might go...  That was cool.   But anyway,  as I prepared for the weekend I was still not sure why I was going but I knew that God wanted me to be there....   Anyway here I am.   And God is beginning to show me the signs that YES He wanted me to be there....  As I was waiting to get registered an old friend arrived.  I had been supposed to travel a bit with this friend earlier in the year but we just never got to it.... (Life happened).  But I realized at that moment that I had really missed the time with this friend.  This friend is one of the people who helped me to realize that God was calling me to blog.   And as I looked at my friend walking up the walkway, I saw her see me and I could see that she was as glad to see me as I was to see her.   I am not really too used to people being glad to see me so that was nice.  As we got a chance to sit and catch up last night we realized that we had both been in the same dumpy place and God had called us to be here.  He engineered it.  We both listened when He called, to go where He called us to go; even though we had no real desire of our own to go.  And he blessed us for listening.   And it gets better yet...
       You know how I have spent years doing disaster work...  well right before Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005 I was deployed to Alabama to wait for it... Once it hit I was dispatched to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi for two weeks.  After that two weeks I returned home for a bit before heading back to New Orleans...   But the speaker from this retreat was from Bay St. Louis..... is that wild or what....   See God takes us places in our lives.... He gives us experiences and then He uses them to teach us....  I wasn't even walking with God when I was at Hurricane Katrina.... I was running away from Him... but He used that... Miracles happen every day... we often don't even notice them.... it's got to make you wonder....
      Dear Lord,  thanks for being patient with me when I put the blinders on...  thanks for gently pulling them away from my eyes and letting me see Your hand in my life.... You are so great, so awesome, so loving that I just can't even fully grasp Your greatness.  I am humbled by your sheer magnificance.  Thanks for loving me, and my friends and for watching over us and protecting us and just for being there.....

Did I hear you right?

"If ... they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry."      
                                                                                                                              Ex 22:23


     Do you ever feel as if people aren't really listening to what you say?  I just hate that.  It burns me up.  But truth be told, I do it to other people too.   I try to listen but somehow the words just fade away and it sound like "BlahBlahBlahBlah".   It's kind of like the sound that Charlie Brown's parents and teachers make in the "Peanuts" cartoons.    You do know what I mean don't you?  I mean, you do it too, don't you?    I sure hope that I am not the only one.... No, I know I am not the only one. 
      The bible tells us to pray without ceasing.  To pray is to talk to God.   The bible also says that if we talk to God, that God will hear our prayers.   He never hears "BlahBlahBlahBlah", but instead He hears our words, and the meaning of the words in our heart.  He hears our prayers even when we don't have the words to express what we want to say.    How great is that!   God stops what He is doing.  He gives each and every one of us His fullest attention.  He hears our cries.   All of them.    God does not selectively listen.    
       We talk about listening for the still quiet voice of God in our lives and yet we can't even listen to the not so quiet voices of those whom we call friends.   My pastor told us in church on Sunday that we need each other.  That God puts people in our lives to be our support system, to help us to stay on track and focused on God.   But if we aren't hearing these folks, aren't we disrespecting God in a way.... I mean if He put them here for us, and we blow them off, well......
        Plus it really hurts when you know that you have told someone something and then they seem to have no idea of what you are talking about the next time you see them.... and you know you told them.....    
        I am guilty of this too.   I will try to be a better listener.    I mean, how can I hear God's voice if I can't even hear the voices of those whom He has put close to me.   After all; sometimes their words ARE His words...it's got to make you wonder...
         Dear Lord,  please help me to quiet my soul and listen, really listen to those around me.   Help me to listen to them the way that You listen to me.     And help me to not feel  hurt when those around me don't do any better at listening than I do.... Thanks.
   

You've Got To Love That Competitive Spirit

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."   Philippians 4:13


        It's football season again.   I can feel the blood tingling through my veins.   My heart is racing.  I can't wait for next weekend to watch some more games.  I don't even care who is playing.  It's football.  It's great. I just love football.   I am playing in two fantasy football leagues this season and they just make watching the games even more enjoyable.  I am very competitive.   I like to win.  I don't have to win.  I certainly enjoy winning more than losing, but my joy doesn't come from the win.  Instead, it comes from the competitive nature of the game.   
              I think that sports and games of all kinds are great fun because they bring out the competitive nature in me.   I really try to do my best at each and every game I play.   I enjoy watching games where people are really trying to do their best.   Kind of weird huh?   Unbiblical you say?  Relying on self?   Trying to be better than others?   I don't think so.   Let me explain....
              If, as the bible say "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" then I should be good at everything I do.... logically that would make sense, but we are human and not alway really good at everything.   However,   If we do everything that we do to the glory of God, then wouldn't we always strive to do our very best.   Even knowing that we might not win.  Might not be the best there is.  But at least we are giving the best we have.    I see sports kind of like that...   I might not be the best softball player in the world.   But if I give it everything I have.   And if I play a good clean game, with no cheating or hard feelings.  and if I give God the glory if I do well, and don't get down if i don't do so well...   Then haven't I honored God in what I have done.   
              I believe that God wants us to be the best we can be.  That He wants us to give our all in all that we do.   I believe that He wants us to understand that we can't be the best on our own, but only through Him.   Now I am not saying that we should pray to win.... that just seems so wrong.... but rather, that we should pray that we play fair, and give it all that we have to give.  
              If you look around, there are Christians in professional sports who are out there sharing their faith with others and inspiring our youth.   They are being a positive witness for Christ.   They give all they have.  They know that they are only able to be where they are by the grace and blessing of God.   And all they do, they do for His glory.    
             Competition is good folks.   As Christians we are not called to let others win.  We are called to do our very best in all we do.  To give all.   To be the tool.   It is a witness to His glory.  So in that vein, I will go out there and play my fantasy football.  I will do my very best to win week after week after week.   And no matter how it goes, I will have given my all, and I will have enjoyed the competition.   Praise the Lord.  It's got to make you wonder.
             Dear Lord,  please help my friends and I to give our all.  To try to do our very best for you in all that we do.   Help us to engage in healthy competition, but not to take it to heart if we win or lose.   And help our good natured competitive attitude be a shining light to others as they see our love for You in all we do.


    

Did you say you have "spiritual diarrhea?"

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."   Matthew 7:24-27


      Lets talk about diarrhea a bit.  Have you ever had diarrhea? Let me tell you it is not fun.   Diarrhea is what happens when your body is full of stuff that is not solid...   (Well that is a simplified explanation but it will suffice for our purposes...)  If you want to prevent diarrhea they say that Pepto-Bismal is the thing to take.    If you already have it, then they say that Immodium is a good solution.... OK. Fine, you say, but what does that have to do with the verse above?


         Have you ever had "spiritual" diarrhea?  "Spiritual" diarrhea would be when your full of so called "spiritual" stuff that is not solid....   by solid, I mean not solid in the word.   It would be akin to your house not being built on the rock but on sand instead.   Spiritual diarrhea can be prevented by a diet heavy in the word of God and quiet time spent with Him.  If spiritual diarrhea is already happening, the cure would include the same thing as the prevention.   A diet heavy in the word, and more time alone with God.


       A steady regular diet of the word is good for a lot of things....  it's kind of like "chicken soup" for the soul...   (I hope that whoever coined that phrase doesn't go after me for using it...)  You can never get too much of it...   If a little is good... a lot is better....   Just listening to people talk about God is not always a good thing.   You must read the word and know it so that you can evaluate what those who teach you are saying.   What they are teaching should be backed up by the word.  If it is not then we ought not be listening to them.  If we know the word, really know it... then we can weed out the bad..... Our foundation will be strong.   Our house will be built upon the rock.   


        Dear Lord,  thank You for giving us the word.   Thank You for allowing Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us to help us to understand the word.   Thank You for how the Holy Spirit helps us to discern the words of our teachers and to seek their foundation in Your word.  Thanks for that smack upside the head when we finally get it....  and for always showing us something new in passages that we may have read over and over and over again...

Taking our eyes off ourselves....

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5


     This has been a tough year.   Actually a tough two years.    But the worst of it has been from about a year ago through now... I have had to really depend on God to get me through each and every day.... Each day has been a struggle in it's own special way...  I have stayed busy.  God has shown me that it helps to take my eyes off of my own problems and keep them on wherever He has taken me.   It has not been easy.  There are many days where I don't want to get out of bed in the morning... but I do.   Other days I can't wait to get off work so that I can crawl back into bed....   I can't tell you the last time I had someone over to my place.... I can tell you that I have not been alone.   God has been there with me every day, every moment of each day.   I have not always felt His presence, yet I have always known He was there.  
         I know that many of you have also had a rough year.   No picnic for sure.   It is hard to give to others when you feel like you are in need yourself.   And yet, we do....  that is what keeps us going....    it is how we serve God, by being there for others, even when we would rather roll up on the sofa and hide.   
         Sometimes serving brings us joy.   If you like children, you might be blessed by being able to teach Sunday School, or by helping a friend babysit.  If you like to cook, you might be blessed by being able to cook for people in your home or at an event.   If you're like me, and you're not a people person, you might be blessed by being able to do computer work or office work that helps others.   
        Still we must remember that acts aren't all that important in God's eyes.   Acts are something that we might "want" to do because we want to serve.   We should not be looking for recognition or acceptance because of "what" we do.    
       Lately I have had several people say that they were thankful for the things that I do.  It kind of puts me off.   I don't do "things"  so that people will be thankful,   I don't want people to be willing to keep me around because I am useful.   
        I was with a friend the other day and this friend called someone else whom I am also friends with.  They were on speaker phone and somewhere during the conversation it came up that I was there with that friend that day and then this friend asked the other person if they wanted to say hello to me, the other person said "oh, well I guess I have to now."  I don't think they knew they were on speaker.  Wow, that really stung.  I hadn't realized... I have really been thinking about that a lot this week.  It hurt.  A lot.   But I am reminded that when we let people into our lives we allow not only the joy that they bring but also the pain that they will also bring.   When we open our hearts we let in both the good and the bad.   Everyone whom we let into our lives will eventually hurt us.  They probably won't mean to.  But it will happen.  Just as we will hurt them (we may have already hurt them without even realizing).   Love, real true love is being able to get over it.   To know that it will happen and to not push them away.   To see the imperfections in people and to say "so what".... to be able to push the imperfections inside and see the heart of the person.   
        I want people to want to know me because they just like having me around.  I know I am not a particularly friendly person.   I know I can be pretty darn hard to like.   But I do have a heart for God.  And I am a loyal friend to those whom I think of as family.   I have tried to be there for you guys.  And I have been most especially thankful for those of you who have been there for me.   I hope that I have not been too much of a drain on anyone.   I am still working daily to take my needs to God and not to my friends.   It is a constant work in progress.   A daily struggle.   If I have neglected anyone I apologize,  but I have been kind of  deep in thought a lot lately.    I know I am rambling.  I'm gonna go.  
       I may soon take a break from this blog to get my head together.   I will let God lead in that.   If He continues to bless me with something to write; then I will continue to write.   I don't want you to have to read MY ramblings, but rather HIS words.
         "Dear Lord,  Thanks for everything.   Thanks for always being there.  Thanks for getting us through the hard times, and not just leaving us to fend for ourselves.   And thanks for bringing people into our lives that live YOUR word.   And please continue to use us to do YOUR will.   I am thankful that at least You know the plans You have for us...."

Are you my mother?

"Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."  When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.  Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."   Matthew 19:21-24


     I once read a book to my niece called "Are you my mother?".   In this book a baby bird falls out of the nest and goes searching for his mother.   The most important thing in this baby bird's life is finding his mother.   Along the way he asks everyone and everything he meets if it was his mother....  he is ready to follow each of them until he learns that they are NOT his mother.
      We are much like that baby bird.   We are searching for the one who will care for us and nurture us.   God is the one.   But until we really accept that, we will search for the one thing that will make us feel happy and safe.   
      When I was in college I had a friend named John.    John is the one who taught me the basics of everything that I believe about God today.   One of the things that John drilled into my head is the realization that whatever we make the most important thing in our life becomes "our God".   Whatever we value most.  Whatever we want most.   That becomes our "God".  
      If our desire is to attain great wealth, then the wealth becomes like our "God".   We do whatever we can to achieve it.   We are consumed with it...  This thing that we find most important in our lives becomes all consuming....  it can be anything.... Books, Music, Money, Belongings, even people....   if we make something the most important thing in our lives.  If we put that before everything else in our lives then it has surely become our "God".
      Wouldn't it be great if we could make God our "God".   If our greatest desire was for a better relationship with Him.  If we were consumed with the desire to have a better closer walk with Him.   If we wanted to be with Him more than anything else...   We would be like that baby bird.... always looking for God in everything we do....   the difference would be that God would always be there for us.... He never leaves us.  Never deserts us.   If we seek Him out, we will find him....
      Dear Lord,   I want to see You in all I do.   Yet I sometimes forget to look for You.  I know that You are always there with me.  Yet I sometimes forget to reach out for Your helping hand.   I know that You are there for me all the time.   You are my safety net.   You are there protecting me and keeping me safe.  And yet sometimes I fear that which is around me.  Please help me to keep You at the center of my life.   To turn to You in everything that I do.  To seek You out everywhere I go.   To remember that I don't need to go around like that baby bird asking "are you my mother?" because I belong to You.  And you are always there....

Don't Run With Scissors

"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first..."                Revelations 2:4-5 
   
           I can remember when I first learned to hit a softball.   I was about seven years old.  My uncle was coaching me.   We stood in his dining room (yes his dining room) and he was instructing me on how to properly swing the bat.  My aunt just watched and shook her head... For what seemed like several weeks he would have me stand in the dining room and practice my stance, practice swinging the bat at an imaginary ball.   
           Can you imagine doing that in your mother's house?  I sure can't.  There were rules against that.  If it was fun - there was a rule against it...    at least that's how I remember it.  My mother did have a rule that there was to be no ball playing in the house.   Of course as a child you never understand the reasons for the rules.    You think  "why can't I run with scissors? I'll be careful. It won't happen to me..."  
            It's only now, as an adult, with my own home, that I realize the logic behind the rules. I had the opportunity recently to spend a lot of time with my young niece and nephew.  More time than I would normally spend with them, and I found myself turning into my mother.... all of a sudden I found myself enforcing rules.   I didn't want to.  But I felt it necessary to keep the kids from hurting themselves, each other and me.   The kicker was when my seven year old niece decided that she had bowled all she was going to so she threw the bowling ball overhand, across her lane into someone else's lane.  Yes, I did say overhand.  Well gosh, I kind of lost it there.  Especially when the manager of the bowling lane screamed and came rushing over.... But God was working.  He calmed me quickly.  I didn't yell.  God gave me the words, and I said them to my niece.  Whispered them in her little ear as I yanked her off the lane.   The manager saw this, calmed down and didn't throw us out.... my nephew was embarrassed but glad.   Rules are there for a reason.
         God has rules.   God wants us to follow those rules.   Those rules are there for a reason.  They are meant to protect us from hurting ourselves or others, and to protect us from being hurt by others.   Like all adults do, God has to enforce those rules.  We like children are not so good at following them.   
          But if you think I'm saying that works is important, you're not getting it.   While I think that God wants us to follow the rules, He has said that it's not about the works.  I kind of think that what God really cares about is our attitude toward the rules.  
          Jesus did not always follow the "rules".   He looked at the situation and did the right thing.  What do we do?  If I don't follow a rule, simply because I don't want to is that right? If I jaywalk because someone fell and got hurt directly across the street from me and I want to help them, is it wrong?  Did I break a "rule"? Sure.  Did breaking that "rule" disrespect God or did it honor Him?  I think that is an important question.  
          God should be our first love.  In my humble opinion, I believe that if we love God, we "should" want to do that which honors Him.  Doing what God has asked of us is a great way to show that we honor Him, but that is not everything.  Our attitude must also be honoring God.   If I do good works but do not do them with love then they are worthless works.  If I follow God's rules that is good, but it also could be considered worthless if our attitude toward what we are doing is not right.  But alas, we are human and as such we are not so good at the rule thing.   Much like children we try but we just can't seem to stay focused on what we should.  And much like children, we fail to do what God has asked of us.   If our attitude is right, if we are seeking to honor God but just can't seem to do it right, it might be a sign that we need to humble ourselves and ask God for some help here....    Paul spoke for me when he said that "he does that which he doesn't want to do and doesn't do that which he wants to do" (paraphrased).  Paul loved God.  Paul constantly sought to serve God with all of his heart, and yet he too failed at times.   But God stuck with Paul and continued to love him, and God will do the same for us when we fail.    
          When God is speaking to the town in Revelations He is telling them to get back on track.  I think that He is saying "hey, you had it right, but then you took your eyes off Me and turned them back on yourselves.  Slow down, come back and lets get back to the basics... or else...."  He is warning them of what will happen if they don't get their attitude toward Him back to how it should be.... We love God.  We try to do His will.  We need to stay focused.  With His help we can do it.  We CAN honor Him and try to follow His rules.  Acts aren't what it's all about but it IS a good way to show Honor toward God IF we can do it with the right "tude".   
          Dear Lord,  wow, I can't believe that I actually said that rules are there for a reason.  You know that I am not very good at following the rules, and at doing what You want me to.  You also know that I try.  I want to honor You in all that I do.  Please know that I want to do what's right.  Well usually I do.  Know that I am truly repentant for the times when I either don't want to follow the rules, or when I just can't seem to get it right.  Please continue to be patient with me and give me those nudges that keep me aimed in the right direction.  And thanks for being there with me to guide and teach me as I tried to help protect my special little ones.  

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ."  1 Corinthians 12:12

        I got stuck following a PAT Bus on the way to work this morning.    The bus seemed to stop about every fifty feet to let more passengers get onboard.   It was a long ride.   But you guessed it, it got me thinking.    

         A bus full of passengers has a personality.   As more passengers enter the bus, the personality morphs.  It changes as the makeup of the passengers change.   If a happy outgoing passenger enters the bus and starts conversing with those around her, the bus will take on a happy cheerful mode.   If all the passengers are sitting reading their newspapers it will be quiet and reserved.  If a scary looking passenger enters the bus and starts checking out everyone the mood will become nervous and wary.   For the folks riding the bus, it might take the same route, but the ride can vary from day to day....   That bus is kind of like life.  

         Life happens.   Every day when we awaken we begin a new ride.   We start somewhere.  We end up somewhere else.   We have several stops along the way.   People come and go.  Entering our ride for a little while each day.   They each bring something different to the table.  They each play a different role.   Our lives would not be the same without them.      

         Hopefully God is driving the bus.  Each day when we awaken, we ought to be asking Him to take the wheel.   To drive the bus.   After all, he is the only one who really knows the route.   And if problems arise, He knows it's coming and He knows all the detours.  Our ride changes daily depending on whom we are in contact with and what is happening in our lives. But the one steady thing is that we have the same driver every day.   He will get us where He wants us to go.   We just need to be there.  And we need to resist the urge to jump into the driver's seat.   No matter how long it seems to take to get there.  Cause we will only end up lost.

        Dear Lord,   take the wheel.    Please help me to be content to sit in the back seat, and to resist the urge to jump up front.   I don't know the way, but You do.   I don't know what is coming up in my future, but You do.   I can't steer clear of troubles, but You can guide me through them.   You know the way.   And please help me to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Thanks.

You want me to do WHAT?

"Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice."  Proverbs 16:8


      I work in a job that could be looked at as political.   I am not a politician, but I work with people who are appointed into their jobs by politicians.   This has a direct effect on me.   These guys make promises that they can bring XYZ to their local area.   Then they come to me to get it done.   No problem, that's my job.  I get paid to shop.   For them.    The problem is that there are a lot of strings attached to the money that I get to shop with.   You can't just go out and buy anything you want to.   Plus I have fourteen bosses.  And I am accountable to all of them.   So if I am going to buy something for one boss, all of the others have to be ok with it.   These guys all mean well.  They want to help their local communities.  The problem is that they don't understand the rules that dictate what they can and can't buy.   So sometimes they make promises that I just can't make happen.    
       So there comes the dilemma.   Sometimes we try to do the right thing, but we just can't get it done.   We want to do it, but our hands are tied.   We try to find a way around it.   A loophole, or exception, but often it isn't there.   And so we have to say "sorry dude, no can do...."   When this happens the bosses aren't happy because promises have been made, jobs are on the line....   it's not pretty.   But it's got to make you wonder....
       Good people do stupid things sometimes.  It's not because they are dumb or anything, but they get tunnel vision.  They only see a part of the bigger picture.   We need to try to take the blinders off and look at it all.   
      If we are serving God and not man; we should not feel too badly about letting the bosses down.   But we are human and sometimes having to say "no can do" feels like failure.    But then we need to turn to the bible.  The living word of God.   And see what it says.   I know that Jesus went into the Temple and challenged the Pharisees.   He felt that one should not blindly follow rules just for the sake of following them.... but He never said not to follow good rules.   I think that we need to look at the situation.   In the case of my job, there is always some other way that an item can be procured.   Some other funding.   In this case I think it is honorable and right to stick to our guns and not just do something that we know we aren't supposed to do.   
        Do you have situations in your life that challenge and perplex you?   Do you wrestle with whether or not you're doing the right thing?  Do you wonder when is the time to throw out the rules and when is the time to follow them?    Life is full of situations like this....  That is why it is so cool that God is always there for us.... If we turn to Him and seek the truth, we will find it....  If we follow His lead, we will be ok....
        Dear Lord,  Please be with me and my friends as we face the challenges that are thrown upon us.   Help us to seek Your way in each and every issue that arises.   And help us to take comfort in the fact that You are there with us and for us.   And let us give the worry to You, and just go along for the ride.....

A brave little girl

"All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace."  Isaiah 54:13


       A little girl died today.   She was the daughter of a guy I used to work with.   She developed cancer about two years ago.  She had a leg amputated.  She bore great pain.  She learned to live with it.   She showed great braveness and a love for life.   She was an example to all those who knew her.  She was a good kid.  
       I am sad for my coworker.   I am sad for his family.   But at the same time, I rejoice for them too.   Their daughter is no longer suffering.  No longer in pain.   And best of all... she is now sitting at the foot of the Father, in perfect health.  Her body whole again.   No pain.  No sickness.  No missing leg.    She can run.  She can play.  She can dance.  
       God has a plan for our lives.  Each of us.    He has determined that plan before we were even born.   He sends us out into the world knowing what will happen in our lives.   From the moment we were born we affected those around us.   So even a child has an affect on others.   This child's bravery in the face of terrible pain and suffering has touched so many lives.   Let us not be sad.  Let us celebrate her life.   Let us be thankful that God has used her and has now let her come home to be with him.  And let us pray that the family can feel some comfort in that.   I think it is much harder for those left behind.   
        Dear Lord, please be with Jim and his family as they mourn the loss of Kayla and help them to see You working in their lives.   Please help them to feel Your comforting touch as they go on.  And help them to know, to really really know that she is with You and is ok. Thanks.