Beauty in God's Eyes...

     "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."           Is 61:4

        What is beauty?  That is a question that has been discussed at a women's retreat that I have been attending this weekend.  It is also a subject to which I have given very little thought over the years...
         They gave us each a rose.  They asked us to take some quiet time and study the rose.  To really look at it and to see what makes it beautiful.  They asked us to ponder that.  This is a little tough for a girl who never really found much joy in flowers.  But I tried.  I looked at that rose and I didn't immediately see anything.   So I prayed.  I asked God to show me the beauty in the rose and to make it "knock me on my behind" sure of why it is beautiful.  So then God did open up my eyes.  I saw that the rose was kind of like us.  Beautiful because God made it.  All roses look alike, but if you look closely you will see that each rose is just a tiny bit different from the next.  Not really obvious changes but small subtle ones.  They are also very fragile.  Easy to bruise, much like we are.... and the stems on the roses have thorns that protect them. 
       We are all made in God's eyes.  We are all beautiful to him.   I know that often I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror.   But yet God likes me just the way I am...  So then I have to look deeper, beyond the flesh and into my soul, my very being... and I realize that I must try to see myself as God sees me... it's very difficult to do...  and I can't do it on my own... can you?  
       It is easier to see the beauty in other people.  They may be too fat, too thin, too old, too young, it doesn't really matter does it?  We know that they are flawed and we can overlook those flaws because we can see God in them.... wouldn't it be cool it we could see God in us too?   He is.... I just know He is....
         I have had a really stinky year.  I see no signs that it will improve anytime soon.... and yet... I have seen God's hand at work in my life this year.   I know that I could not have handled everything that has happened even just a few years ago.   Back then I would have tried to "handle" everything myself....  but this year was different.   I knew that it was too much for me... I just gave it all to God and said "I can't" but You can....  and He was there.... the bad stuff was the ashes, and out of the ashes God worked.... that was the beauty rising out of the ashes.... 
         Yet just because I gave the problems and bad stuff up to God, doesn't mean it didn't hurt... I still find myself balling my eyes out cause I miss my dad, as I drive down the road; and I didn't even have a good relationship with him while he was alive... I spent most of my life afraid OF him, and then towards the end God changed all that and I became afraid FOR him.   
          We have all heard the saying "no pain; no gain."   Well it looks like there is some truth to that old saying....    it's got to make you wonder...
          Dear Lord, only you can really define what is beautiful and what is not.  Please help us to not be so critical of ourselves.   Please help us to see how You work in our lives and how You love us in spite of ourselves.  And maybe just maybe we could see a bit of that beauty without all the pain?  Please?