"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
" 1 Corinthians 15:57
This is the time of year when we reflect upon everything that we are thankful for. I guess that is a good thing. This is also, now and forevermore the beginning of a season of missing those that are no longer with us. But that should not stop us from being thankful.
I am writing this blog on the Monday before Thanksgiving. You will probably be reading this either the day after or a few days after... The day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) will be the day that my mom, sisters, brothers - in - law, nieces, and nephew go to the cemetery to visit my Dad and have our first ever graveside memorial service. My mom and sister have picked out a few bible verses for us to read, and then we will share a few memories. I am thinking this will be a very tearful day...Maybe we ought to invest in kleenex..... Yet even this event makes me thankful.... sad, but overwhelmingly thankful....
Did you catch the part about my mom and sister picking out bible verses to read? Oh yeah! They did! Amazing.... I didn't think my mom even knew what the inside of a bible looked like....
I just thought that it would be nice if I shared with you some of the things that I am thankful for:
I am thankful that God loved us enough to give up that which was His so that we may be able to call ourselves His Children...
I am thankful that God has enough love to go around, and enough patience to put up with us at our worst...
I am thankful that He has saved my life because surely without His presence in my life I would not be here today...
I am thankful that He takes care of my needs and that even though I still do worry about them at times, I really don't need to...
I am thankful that God has led me to a Church that has become like a family to me, and that He has used the people there to interact in my life and be living examples of His love and patience and forgiveness. And that He has used them to help me to grow in Him...
I am thankful that out of great sadness and loss, came a family brought together like never before...
I am thankful for friends who are willing to overlook my human failures to get to know the me that Gods trying to mold me into...
I am thankful to have found my calling to serve God, and to be able to put to use the talents that He has given me to serve Him and give Him honor...
I am thankful that He has allowed me to see my dream of getting an education fulfilled. And that hopefully He will use it for His glory...
I am thankful that I have been able to see God working in the lives of others at times where I could not see Him working in my own life, and that it kept me aware that He is here and working in our lives...
I am thankful for Chocolate Pudding....
I am thankful for so much that I could literally go on and on but it would get redundant...
Dear Lord, I am so thankful that I can call you Father, and that You think of me as Yours. I am thankful for all that You have done in my life and in the lives of those I love. I am thankful that You have brought me people whom I can love and care for... And I am thankful for those whom You have used to show me how to love like that.... I am still learning. I am a slow learner.... but I am also thankful Your patience with me as I keep messing it up time and time again.... Yes, there are sad times. Yes I have been crying up a storm lately.... You really did make an unlimited amount of tears didn't You? But at the same time through my pain, You have brought back some really good memories that I had long forgotten. Painful to remember, yes... but they bring a smile to my heart.... So as I go out there Friday morning to remember.... I will be thankful for those memories... and for the chance to share them with my family.... thanks....
"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47
I heard a song for the first time on the radio the other day.... I don't mean I never heard a song on the radio before, but I had never heard this song before. It was a new song by J. J. Heller called "Love Me". You may have heard it. Anyway I was just dumbfounded because the song said (almost word for word) something that I had said in this very blog only a few weeks ago...."Who will love me for me? Not for what I have done or what I will become. Who will love me for me?" Wow that song really struck a chord with me... because I have been just having those very same thoughts so much lately.
I grew up thinking that love was a conditional thing... if you do what your parents want you to do they might love you. If you screw up, they stop loving you.... but that is not really love. God loves us totally unconditionally. He loves us so much that he gave up His own son, to save our lives. He loves us so much that He gives us a "do-over" every single day.... How many people do you know who would be willing to give you a "do-over" every day? Yeah, there is a beer commercial on television that jokes about that.... but it's true. Only God is willing to be that patient with our mistakes... people aren't.
I have been pretty much of a hermit this year. I haven't gone out with friends much... I have a few good friends. Really good friends. Friends who do love me for me... and not for what I've done, or what I will be.... and I have been blessed to have been able to just hang with them.... even sometimes to just sit and watch tv with them. We sometimes have deep discussions but we don't have to.... It is just awesomely refreshing to just be with them. And I think that they know how special they are to me, and not because of what they do or will be. They have become like family for me and I am so very very blessed by them.
I have other friends whom I care about very very much. I don't know what it is, but I just really like them. Not for who they are, or what they have done, or what they will do, but just because I do... I can't explain it... They know who they are.... These are the folks whom I may have reached out to and called... maybe invited them to have a cup of coffee or a meal or a movie or shop or whatever... just reached out to to try to spend a little time just hanging with them.... I don't ask often, and mostly because it's hard to have people say "not today" or "maybe next week" but next week never comes.... and then you wonder.... do they love you for you or for what you do... or for who you've been.... or for what you will do...
Anyway enough about that.... the thing is.... God made us for fellowship. He made us part of communities of people who live for Him. The book of Acts tells about how God blessed the followers who joined together to praise Him. To worship Him. They broke bread together. They prayed and praised God. They were like a family. It really seemed like they saw each other more than just Sundays and Wednesday nights. And God blessed them greatly. It's got to make you wonder....
Dear Lord, thanks for the "Do-Overs". I really need them. Realizing that You do that for me has really made a difference for me. I am very thankful for that. I am also thankful for Your totally unconditional love. I am still learning what that means. It is still so very hard to comprehend... but thanks... and thanks for putting people in my life that love me and that I can love... and please help me to love unconditionally too..... Thanks.....
" My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:2
As you probably already know, this has been a pretty rough year for me personally. It started out about a year ago with the deaths of some people who were a very important part of my life. It continued to get tougher as my dad battled a terminal lung disease and died in January. Within a week of his dying two more people whom had played an important part in my life also died. And then my friends parents started to die.... and then a reprieve for a few months and suddenly this fall it started to repeat.... people who were an important part of my life began to suddenly die.... it seems like between relatives and friends I was losing someone about every two weeks. You might think you get used to it.... but you never really do.... each time that it happens again I feel like someone has yanked my heart right out of my chest. It's kind of like a primal reaction. Because in my head I know that God has the big plan and I really do believe that He takes us to be with Him once we have done whatever He had planned for us to do on earth, but yet even though I know that it is still hard. The initial hours after I first learn of the death of someone I care about are the hardest. In those first few hours I feel like I revert to the old me.... looking for something to make it better..... like that's really gonna happen..... and I kind of reach out for help... but it's never really there..... "our help comes from the Lord".... literally. He is the only one who can help us in those times even if we (in our humanness) reach out elsewhere....
I think that maybe the reason for the hard year might be to teach me to turn to Him first, and not as an afterthought. During much of my day to day dealings I do indeed turn to Him first. And yet, in those very troubling times I have realized that I have not always done the same. I was driving to work today and I realized that I missed my Dad. Missed him. Really missed him. If you had asked me just a few years ago if I even thought that would be possible; I would have laughed. We did not have a great relationship. In fact I was much closer to his little brother than I was to him. But this morning I realized that we really did have some good times. Not many, but there were some.... and I had hidden them away but now God has brought them out and put them front and center.... and tears were falling... from everywhere ( well not really, but there were a lot of them...).
I was thinking back to everyone whom I have lost this year.... I'm going to miss them all... I was thinking about that.... and then I wondered if I were to die, would anyone miss me? And how would they remember me? What would they remember about me? Would it be the "old" me? or the "newer" me? Would they even know that I am living for Christ? Would they think of me as someone who depended on God or on everyone else? but then again, do I really even care what they think? Have you ever wondered those very same thoughts?
So I guess that today is all about putting God first. Turning to Him first. Letting Him do His stuff... and waiting for Him to do the healing..... and not worrying about tomorrow.... cause He's gonna have that too.... It's hard to talk about these failings of mine, but I'm figuring some of you have them too..... (at least I hope I'm not the only one....) but if you also have those failings, you don't need to share em with me.... share them with Him.... and then let Him do His stuff....
Dear Lord, I have opened my heart. I have poured out my pains, and my failures..... please forgive me for not coming to You first..... for sometimes treating You like sloppy seconds..... please help me to go to You first. To put my faith in You and You alone... and to help me to patiently wait for You in Your time. Please help me to remember that You've got the plan...and You know how to use it.... Thanks for being there with me through all of this, even when I didn't turn to You. And thanks for loving me enough not to leave me now.... I don't deserve you, but I am glad I have You.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34
My Dear Friend,
I am writing to let you know that you have been on my heart and in my mind as of late. I watch you struggling to deal with some problems and my heart breaks for you. It is actually painful to see you hurting and not be able to fix things for you, to help to make it better. You have many issues going on right now, some physical, some spiritual and some just, well just some other stuff.... and you are dealing with them. I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. A lot. Regularly, as I go through my day.
The guy upstairs and I, well we talk a lot about how you're doing... He's got it covered. He keeps trying to assure me of that. He keeps trying to assure you of it too.... Funny how it sounds so safe when He says it, and then a few minutes later, there we go trying to step in and fix things ourself anyway... like we could do it any better..... yeah right....
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone as you deal with what you have to deal with.... I would like to be there with you... but that wouldn't be the right thing... after all, I've kind of got a lotta "stuff" of my own going on right now too... and I don't want you to have to try to bring me up.... We need to look to God. And not just to look to Him. We need to let Him do His "stuff".... after all His "stuff" is much better than any of the "stuff" that you and I can do....
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see.... but I have to remind myself that I am only seeing the outer shell... it's what's inside that counts.... sometimes I am not so sure that I like the inside either.... it's easy to feel that way.... it's our human nature.... we listen to the wrong voices.... It's kind of like that Casting Crowns song "The Voice of Truth"... it says that we need to listen to the "voice of truth".... I think that there is much truth in that.... God made us. He likes us, inside and out.... are we perfect like He is? No, we're not. But... He likes us anyway! In spite of our imperfections.... God is the "Truth". We need to really listen for His voice, the voice of truth.... If He sees the good in us, then we need to see it too.... after all, it's there, even if we have a hard time seeing it....
It's much easier for us to see the good in others than it is to see it in ourselves... Yeah I know that some folks are really critical of others, but forget them.... most folks aren't like that... they see the good in others much easier than one would imagine.
I see the good in you. I believe that you are full of goodness and beauty and that you shine God's light.... I see Him working in your life, even when you don't see Him. He is there with you and I just wanted to point that out to you, so that in case you missed it....well.... you know.... it's got to make you wonder....
Dear Lord, This letter could have been written to any one of my friends. It was not directly written to one, but to several... many of my friends are struggling with trials large and small, physical, mental, spiritual, or just life stuff..... I pray for all of them daily, but then You know that already.... We speak of them often.... You brought them into my life. You taught me how to love them.... You know that I am not so good at giving love.... but you know that I care so very much.... So if you could just keep being with them like you always are.... and maybe if you could ease up on em a bit and bring them some joy... that would be a really cool thing.... and could you give em a hug from me.... thanks....
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